JoePa’s Funeral

I did not attend school at Penn State University. But Penn State has had a greater impact on my life than the school will ever realize. This university has alumni who have become some of my closest and greatest friends I could possibly have. These people have had such an impact on me, I have adopted the school as my 2nd favorite college team (obviously behind my Red Raiders). I happen to be up in NJ for some training for a little more than 3 weeks in November. Just a quick 4 hour drive away was Penn State. I always love to take advantage of the area when I am in new parts of the country; mainly to attend as many different sporting events at different venues as I possibly can. Without even having the ties to the university I had, going to a football stadium with a capacity of 106,000+ people was something I wanted to do. I bought tickets to the final home game of the season 10 days before the game. 7 days later, Joe Paterno was fired.

The same man who coached at Penn State for over 45 years, was let go from the only thing he knew. Watching ESPN all week, they showed the wide variety of emotions that State College and alumni felt with that firing. Outrage, grief, sadness, raw, uncontrollable emotions could be viewed all week. There was talk about cancelling the football game/rest of the season. But the game went on. I had heard from my Penn State friends all week before the scandal went public about the great scene on Saturdays in Happy Valley. I couldn’t have been more excited about it. But with the firing of the face of Penn State University, I had no idea what to expect. I was at the Alamo Bowl after Mike Leach was fired, and it was a giant angry mob mixed with a circus without a tent. So I could relate to an extent with how these fans felt. But JoePa meant so much more to these people than anyone could realize. He had established himself as a family member in so many lives, even without having direct contact with most of them. I attend the game with a friend of mine (newly engaged to one of my roommates from San Angelo, congrats again to you two, love you both) and she introduced me to a few more people while we were up there. We arrived to our tailgate at roughly 7 am.

In my 4 years at Texas Tech, we had a total of THREE games played before noon. I don’t do early games. But the first game of the day is common in Big Ten country. I was shocked to hear from my new friends asking, “Where is everyone?” Shit people its 35 degrees at 7 am, I know where they are. But listening to them, showing up at 7 was normally late for most home games. The atmosphere at the stadium was a typical tailgate atmosphere. Obviously, JoePa was still a big talking point amongst the crowd, but remember, at the time Penn State had only lost one game and was in control of its destiny to go to the inaugural Big Ten championship game in Indy. So the talk was focused towards the game itself. After hours of beer, mimosas, and breakfast food, we made our way into the giant stadium.

The picture above shows the view we had from our seats. At this point, you can see the team coming out on to the field for the game. What is hard to see from the picture is that the entire team came out of the tunnel locked arm-in-arm with each other. There was no jumping around, getting hyped; it was just a football team slowly marching through the band. The crowd, as well, let out cheers that were unlike anything I had ever heard. It’s because the man who wore a tie and thick glasses and led the team onto the field for the past 45 years was not there. It was at that point, I realized that I was attending a funeral more than a football game. Don’t believe me?

This was before the coin flip. Both teams met in the center of the field for a pre-game prayer, something I had never seen at any sporting event. After a quick round of cheers from the stadium for the gesture from Nebraska, once both teams began to kneel, silence swept through the crowd instantaneously. 107,000 people shut the hell up in less than 2 seconds. The scene gave me goosebumps. You could hear the lone man, on the 50 yard line, praying. I heard every word, just as if I was out there with the team, with my hands joined with my temporary enemy. You think 100,000+ people loud is a sight? Trying standing there with not a single noise being made, it will shake you to your core. Once the prayer was over, the game kicked off and nothing strange really happened after that. The massive student section was loud all game. The overall game atmosphere was nothing short of spectacular and awesome. However, the first game in 45 years without JoePa, resulted in a 17-14 loss for the Nittany Lions. Once the game was over, that funeral feel was injected back into the stadium. After all, it was also Senior Day at Beaver Stadium. While filing down the stairs and out the stadium, I saw people crying. You could tell this game meant so much more than anyone could possibly grasp. Losing this game was throwing salt in the wound so many people had in their hearts. It was at that point, with such an overwhelming amount emotion surrounding me, I was able to at least attempt to grasp what the effect of losing their Grandfather was like.

Overall, the entire weekend was a great experience. Penn State reminded me a lot of all the great times I had at Texas Tech. Before I left, I was shown where JoePa lived and saw this outside…

An 85-year-old man, being hawked by news stations, like he was Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian about to make another mistake that for some reason we, as Americans, care about. Leave him alone. That just made me angry. Phil Knight said it best when Paterno finally departed this earth, “Whatever the details of the investigation are, this much is clear to me: There is a villain in this tragedy that lies in that investigation, not in Joe Paterno’s response to it.” With hindsight now, it’s very easy to say Paterno could have done more. But, being in a job where the chain of command is a way of life, I know if I would have told my superiors about something THAT serious, I would not have followed up on it either because I have TRUST and FAITH in them do to the right thing. I firmly believe that was the thought process Paterno went through when his assistant approached him with what he had witnessed in the showers that day before. Did he need to be let go when the story broke? Unfortunately, yes. But he deserved so much more respect than he was given by the University when they let him go. There is a quote on the wall by his statue that reads:

“They ask me what I’d like written about me when I’m gone. I hope they write I made Penn State a better place, not just that I was a good football coach.” -Joe Paterno

Paterno made Penn State a better place. I saw it first hand, and see it in my friends from this great university. Paterno was not a good football coach; he was the greatest ever. He was also a great man. He was not driven by greed; he was driven by what was right. I have no doubt in my mind that the same university, which this man dedicated his money and life too, killed him back in November. They took his reason to live, and ripped it from him. I attended two pieces of history. I attended the very first game after a legend’s firing and, at the same time, attended his funeral. What better place to honor a man, who changed the landscape of college football forever, than at the stadium he practically built with his own hands and with 107,000 people? That’s exactly what those in attendance did that day, and it will always stand out as one of the more unique and powerful experiences I will ever have been fortunate to be apart of. So in honor of him, and my Penn State friends:

WE ARE…

PENN STATE!!

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NACHOS!!!!

We are back with another installment of Fat Friday and with this post, I’m going to shed light on what is easily in my top 5 things to eat. Something so simple to make, no matter how complicated you want to make them. I’m referring of course to NACHOS.

O-M-G! I love me some nachos! Even if you simply melt cheese on top of chips, there is something so deliciously satisfying about it. Nachos can serve as great, great bar food. It’s perfect to share with everyone and can be loaded with tons of flavor. The variety of nachos, in all the different aspects, come together to create a unique taste that is never the same as the last plate of nachos you ate. With so many aspects coming into play, just one aspect of it can ruin the nachos. With that, we are going to jump off into the basic ingredients seen with most nachos, and the place where my favorite nachos are located.

The base of nachos starts with tortilla chips. These are absolutely crucial if you are going to make a great plate of nachos. The chips need to be crisp without being super thick. Remember that failed attempt Tostitos had with the “perfect” nacho/dip chips. They were Tostitos “Gold”. They were awful. They tasted like salted cardboard they were so thick. So you have to find that right balance between crispness and thickness. Those are the only 2 things that need to be considered for chips when in nachos. So may cry out with, “What is the one thing most people do as soon as you get a bowl of chips at a restaurants? They get salted.” You don’t need to be considered with the saltiness of the chips because of everything else that will go on to the nachos.

Next, cheese. This one is next to impossible to screw up. Grab you favorite shredded cheese and throw it on the chips. Once all the other components are on, you bake until the cheese is melted. Simple. You wanna get creative? Use multiple cheeses. That’s really all there is to that part.

Really after those two ingredients, there are plenty of ingredients that can be seen as staples, but aren’t always included for a variety of reasons. I’m gonna continue with the basics that I wanna see for nachos I’m going to indulge in. So after the chips and cheese, I’m looking for beans. I prefer refried beans because they can be spread out on the chips and can hold any other ingredients that are put on the nachos. The beans don’t have to be anything special, because they are a support ingredient more than anything.

True nachos, not just a quick fix of chips and cheese, needs meat. Fajitas are preferable, but some sort of meat is a necessity. The meat must have lots of flavor. It is often that the meat can define how great the nachos can be. I’m looking for a good salty, garlicky, smokey, peppery flavor with some heat. Such a beautiful combination of flavors that makes you want to throw on a poncho, sombrero, and start looking for a mariachi band to start blaring their horns and singing “Tequila.” Don’t be shy with the meat either. Naked chips are a big no-no in the world of the nacho.

My last basic ingredient has to be the jalapenos. This is the one time that fresh jalapenos actually back fire on the dish. You just wanna by the pickled jalapenos. First off, they are already sliced, so it’s easy to throw them on the nachos. Two, the flavor of pickled jalapenos just works so much better. Something about that vinegar and salt combination just really works. DO NOT COOK THE JALAPENOS ON THE NACHOS. I hate that, you ruin the jalapenos if you bake them. You just put them on the top once the nachos are done (see my concoction at beginning).

Last part of nachos, which is just as important, is assembly. You must put an even layer of chips down, then beans, meat, etc, then the cheese at the end. If you put too many chips, you just wasted a chance to make some great nachos. Then bake them until the cheese is melted, and scarf. My favorite nachos, for my money (it has got to be a little biased but try them out and tell me I’m wrong), reside in Lubbock, Texas. These can be found at Chimy’s, located on Broadway right by Texas Tech University.

The serving of nachos is massive, which I can’t get enough of. What is great about the serving is the chips are giant, so they don’t have to load the plate with tons of chips, (see assembly section for importance) but at the same time allows for a great sized serving. It then comes with refried beans, cheese, and good chunks of either beef or chicken. Here is the best part; they leave the rest to me/customer. They have a salsa bar with anything you could want on the nachos. Lettuce, chunks of tomatoes, pico de gallo, jalapenos, sour cream, salsa, anything you could want to pour all over your nachos. This combination of flavors, strategy, and price just can’t be beat. Add one of the famously delicious margaritas, it’s like god sent down a Mexican to build us a piece of heaven. Now the stories I have that started at Chimy’s are for another post, because anyone who is familiar with such a place, has their own fantastic stories associated with such a glorious cerveceria. Maybe one day, I’ll share a drunken night filled with margaritas, Makers and sprite, and lord knows what else. But for now, when you go to the bar, go order up a humongous plate of greasy, cheesy nachos. Or if you are at home, go get some ingredients to put your own spin on nachos and enjoy away.

Real quickly, since I went 3-1 last week, it is my duty to place picks for the super bowl. I’m going to take the Ravens in an upset over the Pats and the Giants over the Niners (they are just playing too well right now).

Stating Facts…I’m pretty good at it

Quick recap of the football weekend: Tom Brady is REALLY good and the Broncos have issues beyond the QB. The Giants are looking like they did in ’07, the Niners might be the favorite going forward, and don’t overlook how good Ed Reed and Ray Lewis still are. Championship weekend should be a great one.

I realized this weekend a few things just talking with people. One, people mistake confidence for cockiness way too often. Two, lots of people are afraid to say they are good at anything because of point number one. Let me start this whole thing out by saying if you are going to say you are good at something, and really suck, then shut up. Or if you open your mouth and realize you couldn’t be more wrong, own it and enjoy that humble pie. Also, just don’t go around talking about yourself for any reason. That’s just weird and very self-centered. Now that we have that cleared up, let me define the difference between confidence and arrogance. It starts with being a self-aware person. If you know who you are as a man or woman, then you personally know what you are good and not so good at. Let me show you what I am talking about:

I am a great cook
I am prideful
I am a good baseball player (even if I don’t play anymore)
I am terribly awful when it comes to anything artistic
I am can barely ice skate
I am capable of throwing a great party
I am loud
I am willing to admit I’m wrong, but I absolutely HATE admitting that
I am a loyal friend
I am not always tactful
I state facts: it’s what I do (see previous fact)

I could go on and on about who I am. But the truth is, I know who I am. I don’t need to go on and tell you. If you know me, then chances are you already knew those things through my actions and/or loud mouth. So when I tell people what I am good or not good at, I am simply stating facts because that’s what they are: facts. People need to be aware that it is ok to talk good about yourself, because with that comes the ability AND responsibility to talk bad about yourself as well. If you can put the two together, you are going to be viewed as a confident person. It’s when you only talk about the good that people view you as arrogant.

I know plenty of people who just talk about the good in them. When you don’t hear anyone admit to anything that they are terrible at, or can’t stand to eat humble pie, is when you can find a cocky ass-hole who needs to be brought down a peg or two. I love that humble pie, keeps me in check. Example, I stated that I am a good baseball player. So when I play intramural softball if a teammate comes up to me and points out the one thing I did wrong (bad throw, fly out with the bases loaded to the pitcher, booted ground ball), even if overall I played a solid game, I can accept that. If I am going to say I’m good at it and mess up something along the way, I’ve got to be able to roll with the shit you will get with a loud mouth (like mine).

Don’t be so sensitive when people call you out. This act is what allows us to separate those who are confident and those who are cocky. They are doing it either to keep you honest and/or just to rag on you because, hey, that’s what friends are for. So from here, one of three things happen: you either admit to your downfall, tell them to suck it because they are wrong (and they are), or tell them to they are wrong when in all reality they are 100% correct. It’s that third action that reveals who the cocky people are. These are people who are so delusional about who they are/what they did, that they couldn’t possibly be wrong. When you can correctly identify somebody who can’t admit they are wrong, then they are just cocky and won’t be taking seriously. However, if one of the first 2 options happen, then go and state those facts, because you can’t dispute facts. Nobody likes to admit they are wrong, but if you don’t want to admit it, either be right or shut your damn mouth (talking to you Rex Ryan, 0-3 on that Super Bowl guarantee).

People will never mistaken me for a weak person. Some will view me as arrogant, which is fine with me. I would rather be viewed with too much confidence instead of being weak. I hate being around weak people. Show me you have enough conviction and confidence to be who you are, take risks, and stand for what you believe. Show me you have swag. Not swagger, swag. I love seeing people with swag. I love being around people with swag. Swag is sexy. Swag is dancing that tiny, tiny line that separates confidence and arrogance. Swag is knowing your surroundings, and how you can excel in those surroundings. Don’t be afraid to be confident. My thought is people who can’t handle a very confident person are not very confident themselves. I carry myself with swag, always will. I hope you can carry yourself with swag too. Be confident, not arrogant. Be your biggest fan and biggest critic. Don’t just turn your swag on at certain moments. Leave it on, there is no such thing as an expensive swag bill. Go be a more confident you. If you need help, I’ll work on bottling up my swag and selling it to you.

First Fat Friday

The first installment of Fat Friday is here! I really was torn on exactly what this first edition would be about. There are so many choices I want to write about, but I finally settled on a something that I am willing to guarantee that all reading have experienced at one point or another:

The ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-BUFFET

The type of food at the buffet can vary but the experience of a buffet is a mystical and unique food experience. NOBODY goes to a buffet without having the mindset of “I’m going to eat until I can no longer physically move my jaw.” As a matter of fact, the decision of a buffet is not made without a little thought. If you aren’t going to the buffet without trying to eat enough food to break even for what you paid for it, you shouldn’t be allowed into the buffet to begin with. And for that matter, if you are a buffet, stop calling it “all-you-care-to-eat.” That’s the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. If a stupid person comes in to eat, and eats so much they are sick, that’s their problem. Just put a sign on up on the door that says “Don’t be a stupid person.” Don’t disguise a buffet, we all know what it is. Just because a whore goes to church, has a well-respected job, and wears conservative clothing, she still remains a whore.

Once you arrive to your buffet of choice, the feeling that hits you is also different from any other place where we stuff our faces. You know, when you walk in the door, your eyes will be overwhelmed by a line that appears to never end with trays and trays of food. You stand in line, waiting to pay, and all you can focus on is what to put on your plate and how to strategically organize it to put the most food on your plate. All the while the smells from the plethora of food is making your stomach sound like Chewbacca is yelling from your gut and your mouth is now being flooded with saliva. Finally, you reach the register, you hand the nice worker behind the counter your card…AND THE CREDIT CARD MACHINE IS RUNNING SLOW. OH THE AGONY. In all reality, you probably have to wait an additional 90 seconds, maybe 120 seconds. But all the while, you see that bastard kid who just came in with his parents and is starting to ransack the buffet. It’s like that little kid is flashing a large middle finger at you, which is comical because that poor soul doesn’t even know what the middle finger means at this point in his or her young life.

Finally, the charge goes through, you sign the receipt, the starting gun is fired, and your feet generate enough torque to leaves you peeling out by the register. That torque is so overwhelming, even when Fred Flintstone starts his car, he doesn’t peel out that much. Finally, traction is gained once that first warm, still slightly wet plate is locked into the claws that have replaced your hands. You work your way through the line, and before you know it, you have run out of room. The first floor of your food high-rise is complete. Another quick black out, 2nd story complete. You push for that 3rd floor, even though the base isn’t very solid. Just when you are done you get to the last plate of food that has one serving left and you aren’t sure if you want it now or willing to risk waiting for the next serving while devouring your food and hope it is back out on the line by the time you have finished.

Behind you is another pick little kid who has maybe one thing on his dish and all he wants is that last serving that you are staring down. Nothing would make his day more to have that because he doesn’t like anything else. The serving weapon is drawn. You have loaded it up. You see the poor look in that kid’s eyes. You are a grown ass man or woman and with a simple look back at this child, your eyes tell the kid “SUCK IT” and pour the last bit of food on your plate. It’s like the basketball court; when the big kids are playing, you either wait your turn or play with them. On this court of bountiful food, there will never be a kid beating me. Don’t worry little buddy, one day you will be able to look back from this lesson learned and pass it down to the next poor generation of kids battling it out for the last serving on a buffet.

Once you have sat down, you now are in marvel of the mound of food in front of you. Why in the world would you ever think about putting this much food on a plate? Because you can. With that answer, you smile and dig in. When I say dig in, I mean flip the on switch on the industrial power vacuum that your mouth has become. Optimus prime wishes he could transform into such a powerful food annihilating machine. You may be the leader of the autobots, but you aint got shit on Americans gorging on a buffet. Soon enough, you reach the bottom of the plate and just like a great song on your iPhone, you hit repeat before it changes to another song. This process repeats until food starts leaking out of your head like grass out of a chia pet.

You are just looking for the fork lift to take you back to the car. Really, you are so food drunk, you need a designated driver. If you came with a group of friends, (which if you go to a buffet by yourself, you are truly a fat ass with possibly a serious problem), you all look like the walking dead trying to get back to the car. Who the hell turned the sun on!?!?!? Why can’t a just roll over into a fat comma in the restaurant? That’s the next step. If I see that, this country will have reached the point of fatness which we will never be able to get back from. Everyone is now back in the car, and there is that 30 second pause where no one says a word, the car isn’t started, and then finally the silence is broken by moaning and groaning. It’s not because of the fullness, those sounds were released during the fat waddle back to the car. No, it’s because finally someone cut a solid 5 second fart that gets the car started and the windows rolled down. Hours later, you have no idea why you did that to your body. It’s like that moment after an all-night party and you utter during your hangover, “I’m never drinking again.” That same type phrase either gets uttered out loud or at least sits in the front of your thoughts until the next day. You couch now is left with a crater from your now 15 pound heavier body and you now have completed your experience at the American buffet. It’s just a rush that we as Americans will never get enough of. And you know what, I love it. If you enjoy the experience of a buffet, then we can most certainly be friends.

Next post will be dominated by the weekend playoff games. As far as my picks, I’ll take Green Bay, Baltimore, New England, and the Niners in an upset (Do work Crabtree).

Is IT important to you?

Today, I overheard a few people talking about their New Year’s resolution. I heard the typical one, “I wanna finally lose this extra weight.” Of course you do. Just all those beers, lack of working out/activity, trips to grease-in-a-bag, and getting the number 1-4 while there just got in the way for the past umpteenth years. I never quite understood why everyone gets so pumped up about having a resolution going into the new year. Do people not realize that there are 365 days in each and every year (with the addition of one extra day every 4 years)? Why do you need the start of a new year to change something in your life? Are we as a society so blind to see that tomorrow isn’t given to us? There is nothing we do, as humans, that entitles us to having another 24 hours on earth. Each day is a blessing, and needs to be treated as such.

I do take the time at the end of the year to take a look back and realize where I have been and what I have done. It is incredible to think about all of the things that happened in your life over the span of a full calendar year. I’m not going to go into specifics about what 2011 brought me, but over many more posts, those will be revealed. And while I don’t understand the hype and excitement with resolutions, I normally at least attempt to have one each year. Just like most of us, it is gone and long forgotten by the end of January. So why do so many people fall short of achieving their new goal for the year? Do they set an unreasonable goal? I would say most don’t. I would argue that it comes down to this: it isn’t important enough to him or her to see it through.

My life is a direct reflection on what is most important to me and that covers all aspects. When it comes to people in my life, if you are important to me and I care about you, there is no doubt that you know it. I have no problems telling people what I think about them; whether they are cool, beautiful, a prick, incredible, sexy, talented, shallow, etc. Odds are, again if I care about you, you know exactly what I think about you. My career is no different, I love what I do and love going to my job day in and day out. With all that said about me, I’m willing to say to whoever is reading this right now that your life is no different. Just take the time to look at what you spend the most time on. Why do you spend the most time on those things? Go ahead think………………………..

Now that you thought about it, it should be clear that they are what you care most about. In other words, those things are most important to you. Some may argue that, “Well, such and such is important to me but…(inset lame excuse here).” Because the fact is there is NO EXCUSE that can be argued for anything important. America is still the country of opportunity. Ya, lots of it suck right now, but the truth still stands that if you want it, you can go get it. Now, I believe that last part of going and get it, many people misunderstand that. So many people don’t understand what work means. Self-entitlement, like that black goo that turns Spider-man into Venom, has leaked all over society. Many people, young and old, fail to realize that going and getting “it” means working your butt off. Example, anyone in this country could become a surgeon, no matter your background. But, is that goal important enough to sacrifice a social life, spend countless hours studying, years of schooling, and pile up mounds and mounds of debt? For many the answer is no, and that’s ok. But don’t be envious of the pay check those top end surgeons pull because they worked for numerous years to earn that.

We all have friends and family who can be viewed simply as a bum. We love them and they love us because we are important to each other. But they always have excuses for why they didn’t do this or that or why they aren’t doing more with their life. I’m not saying you can’t be a bum who just skates by all the time. If that is what makes you happy, then I am in no position to tell you to do anything different. However, it always seems like these people, full of excuses, seem to bitch the most about their own life and how much better you have it. Well, dumb ass, it’s because I earned it. So what’s stopping you from changing your life? Simple, YOURSELF! So quit wasting your precious time. If you care about someone, tell them. Don’t be scared about what the reaction might be, if they are important to you, don’t waste time and let them know. We aren’t mind readers as humans so communicating with those important people can go a long way to improving those relationships. Besides, who doesn’t like hearing nice things about who you are from someone else? If you want to change your life in some way, start tomorrow. If you are willing to sacrifice, then nothing will ever stop you. Don’t be scared of some sweat, elbow grease, and set backs because they will happen. If it was easy, everyone would do it. But again, if it is important, slight set backs won’t stop you from changing. It’s up to you, if you enjoy life as is, you got nothing to change. But if you are serious about changing anything, then, like Nike says, just do it.

Next installment will be a weekly staple of mine because I LOVE FOOD. Gonna be called Fat Friday’s. Clary is going to give his own take on the wonder of food, fat creations, strategies to picking out that fast food joint to satisfying any craving, and really anything that feeds fuel to why this country is so damn fat.

I hate kickers…

I’ll spend another entry to get into me, who I am, why I stated blogging, blah blah blah….

But I am legitimately mad, angry, pissed off that last night I had to spend 3+ hours of my life listening to Brent Musburger drool over the Honey Badger in the same fashion as he drooled over Colt McCoy when he was in college. That is not even the worst part about it. The next time a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP is so bad that the all-star offensive performer is a kicker, warn me so I can be sure to shove needles in my eyes while splashing Tabasco in them as well to make sure I can’t see what is happening. Look, I’m not taking anything away from the back-handed slap that Alabama repeatedly gave LSU all night because it was one for the all-time. However, I’m taking it back to kickers and why I am going to propose the idea that all kicking, all special team aspects of football as we know it, should be eliminated from the great game of football.

The old football adage is that special teams is 1/3 of the game, just like offense and defense make up 1/3 as well. BULL CRAP! We first take a look at the top: the Hall of Fame. There is just one pure place kicker and zero punters in the Hall of Fame. Kickers decide some of the biggest moments in football history and yet they are important enough to vote only 1 pure kicker into the Hall. Next, if special teams/kickers are so important, why are there so many college football programs who don’t have a good kicker? Alabama is a prime example. You have a kicker who can’t make a FG over 50 yards, which isn’t unreasonable to expect from a kicker, but did having a crappy kicker stop them from winning a national title? Exactly. The third reason kickers need to go is they have way too much influence on football games. Kickers stand around all week, kick FGs, sprinkle in a few actual kicks with a full team out there, no rush on the attempts and you have the traditional practice week of a kicker. For an aspect that is “1/3” of the game, in all reality only gets about 10% of practice time a week. Then come game time, they ultimately week in and week out decide the fate of the team.

These teams sure wish they had a little bit better performances this year out of their kickers:
Boise State
Oregon
Oklahoma State
Oklahoma
Alabama (Not in the end, but for a while had to sweat it out)
TCU (1st game of the year against Baylor)
Missouri (week 2 against a sorry Arizona st team)
Baylor (against K-state, lost by 1, kicker missed only FG attempt)

Those are just the schools I could think of off the top of my head. I’m sure every team in America had at least one game decided solely on a missed kicker this season. In college football, in which 1 extra win could change the school’s season and, more importantly, end of season pay out based on the bowl they go to, kickers are costing their respective universities (like Boise St for the past two years) MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. It’s a joke.

So what do we do about these kickers? There is nothing about a kicker that says “yeah he is a football player” no he is “just a kicker.” Get rid of them, all of them. But nobody likes “that guy” who just bitches without a way to make it better. Insert Clary’s solution to replacing kickers. Football gets rid of all special teams and now football has more of a pick-up game feel. Game starts with the coin flip and the receiving team takes the ball at their own 20. Now instead of punting on 4th down, teams go for it EVERY TIME. I know somewhere Mike Leech is smiling at that idea. If the defense stops them, they take over just like a basic stop on 4th down. When a score happens, teams go for 2 EVERY TIME (And also, NFL, allow teams to run back the PAT for 2 points like in college so the PAT could have some meaning again for the defense). Now coaches can put even more time to the actual aspects that make the game of football what it really is; offenses and defenses are better, and games like the trash last night can be better avoided. Do it from the youngest level of football all the way to the NFL. I have yet to meet anyone who gets fired up about a football game because the kickers in the game have such great leg strength. I mean seriously, the only difference between John Daly and Sebastian Janikowski is one strike a football and the other strikes a golf ball. Let’s make football more exciting and, in my opinion, a “purer” version of football because now the game is decided by actual football players. Not, like Peyton Manning would say, “idiot, liquored up kicker[s]”

Oh ya, college football, there aren’t enough characters on the internet for me to start on how terrible the BCS is and why there needs to be a playoff.

Now come back y’all for more entertaining takes of sports, food, current affairs, men, women, family, friends, skinny jeans, beer, drinking games, TV, naps, festering, nick names, stupid people, guest appearances from friends of mine, lazy people, a good burp and fart, a little about who I am, why it’s a “coke” not a pop, why Gatorade is better than Powerade, why Snickers is the greatest candy bar ever, words with friends and really anything that grabs my attention because the great thing about blogging is nothing is off-limits. Till next time…

Clary needs to enjoy more of the full reclining couch he is currently sitting on.