Tag Archives: Football

Cowboy Fans: Let’s take one tiny, step back

It feels good to be back on the website! The past year and few months were dedicated to finishing my master’s degree (which will be done in 2 weeks), getting engaged, getting married, and now am in the process of moving across the country to Wyoming. I know that getting back to writing freely, and not weekly forum posts and a thesis, will be very welcoming again. I last posted on the NFL…for the 2013 season. So it is only fitting I pick up with the NFL again , but specifically about one team. America’s team. And no it isn’t the Broncos, even the latest Harris Poll would show evidence for the Broncos.

Of course I’m talking about the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys have made the improbable rise to 5-1 after an atrocious week 1 loss at home to the San Francisco 49’ers. This is the same team which played their home opener in Jerry’s world filled with what appeared and sounded like more Niner fans than Cowboys fans. The same Cowboys who started the season ranked 23 out of 32 teams, according to ESPN.com, with potential “to have the worst defense in history,” after losing “Jason Hatcher, DeMarcus Ware and Sean Lee (again) from a defense that allowed the third-most yards ever last year.” Dallas has now risen to 3 in those same rankings. The media is going C-R-A-Z-Y because the Cowboys are good again. Let us all rejoice!! The Cowboys are back!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!! Except it’s not that great, at least for this Cowboy fan. Honestly, it shouldn’t be THAT great for Cowboy fans in general. Here’s why:

Let’s start with this undeniable fact from the last 19 seasons:

Since the Cowboys won their last Super Bowl in the ’95-’96, they have exactly 1 playoff win. One, insignificant, measly playoff win against an Eagles team that the Cowboys had beat the week earlier, and then proceeded to get stomped on by the Favre-lead Vikings. They also only have five playoff appearance in that same time. Only the Bengals, the Browns, the Lions, and the Chiefs have fewer playoff wins then the Cowboys during this same stretch of time, which would be zero. That freaking sucks. Period. The issue is the regular season, especially now in a NFL where there are no longer truly great teams. Because the NFL has achieved its goal of making it so any team has the opportunity to win on any Sunday (or sneak into the playoffs), mediocrity dominates many of the playoff teams regular season records. In the past few seasons, division winners are sometimes 7-9, 8-8, 9-7 etc. Lots of mediocre records are earning playoff home games. In short, the regular season doesn’t matter. A team just has to make it to the playoffs and has shown success. We have seen wild-card teams win three straight road games to get to the Super Bowl and win it. I do not care if the Cowboys go 15-1, Demarco Murray runs for 2000 yards, and Tony Romo wins the MVP. If that doesn’t translate into playoff success, this season will be considered more of a failure than just going 5-11 like many experts expected Dallas would.

Most of the NFL fans share this view on Cowboy fans:

Which is fine, because I would argue it’s just jealousy ;). But in all seriousness, the Cowboys must win in the playoffs. Cowboy fans, whether they were delusional views for certain seasons or not, have always expected the playoffs and Super Bowls. Well, why should the change now with the team being 5-1? If anything, those “Super Bowl or Bust” expectations actually have a little traction now. The Cowboys are now going to be playing the rest of the season with a media rush of praise and real expectations of winning. Those are justifiable with the way are the Cowboys are winning. This team has proven for almost two decades, however, that they cannot handle the pressure of winning on the biggest level. Jerry Jones has made it clear that is bothers him that people don’t think he was responsible for the previous Super Bowl titles and wants to be known as a “smart football guy”. It would appear like this team at least has a chance to possibly re-write the past choke jobs that have turned the Cowboys persona and reputation from winners to just a bad joke. But there is still a lot of season left, and a lot left to prove for this team to really get this Cowboy fan fired up.

So I urge all Cowboy fans to be cautiously optimistic about where this team is heading. Beating the Seahawks in Seattle does not mean we are going to the playoffs. It just means we are 5-1 with a quality win. But this team still have their six division games to play, along with games against Arizona, Chicago, and Indianapolis. So there is a ton of work left to do just to get into the playoffs. Show the NFL collective fan base that you are not simply a band wagoner going “WE ARE 5-1! SUCK IT TREBEK! WE ARE WINNING THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR! YOU CAN’T STOP US!! NUMBER SIX, HERE WE COME!” Tell your friends of other teams simply, “We are playing really great right now, but just need to keep on trucking, stay healthy, and remain a running team.” Or something like that. Don’t accept 5-1, 8-1, 10-1, or 12-1 as good enough. Support the team, watch the games, yell at the TV when moments are tense, but remember the end goal. It’s playoff success. It has to be, because the regular season wins don’t mean a thing without playoff runs.

In the mean time, I would still encourage the occasional jab at the inferior NFL franchises and fan bases. Let us not forget the Cowboys are 5-1 and Cowboys fans still have a reputation to uphold. After all, they are America’s team.


Super Bowl Story Lines in One Sentence

I hate both the Pats and the Giants. I hate lots about both teams. So with this post, it’s gonna be simple. Different topics of the Superbowl summed up in one sentence, possibly one word. And we are off!

The food I made, along with the food everyone brought over (only have pictures of mine, brisket and pulled pork): So mouth-watering, you got fat alone by the amount of spit generated from staring at all the food

Eli Manning: How does THAT now have 2 Super Bowl Rings???

Tom Brady: Apparently running a 5.2 40 yard dash and looking like this is what does it for women these days(sweet head band, where the uggs at?)
Bob Kraft: Wish I had super bowl rings as cufflinks; what a boss

America the Beautiful by Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert: Perfectly done
The National Anthem: Awesome performance with the drum line being a great complement to the simple, yet beautiful rendition
Team Introductions: Bring back individual introductions!
First Quarter of the game: GARBAGE
Brady’s first pass becoming a safety: Guess Gisele’s prayer request went unheard
Best Commercial during the 1st Quarter: M&M’s commercial
2nd Quarter of the game: Finally, the Patriots woke up and made it a game
Best Commercial during the 2nd Quarter: The dog bribing the man with Doritos
Halftime show: Impressive, with a reminder that M.I.A. thought she was number 1 (dumb bitch)
Ochocinco: 1 catch, still zero rings
3rd Quarter of the game: I was so full, I blacked out and couldn’t remember it/it was that uneventful
Best Commercial during the 3rd Quarter: Toyota Camry reinvented, the guy who walks in and sees his couch as all women, then all men and doesn’t seem to care.
Wes Welker’s drop: I hate the pats, but my heart went out for a great Red Raider

Manningham’s Catch: Stupid good

Ahmad Bradshaw: Tried to shit and score at the same time; got one of them right

The Hail Marry that just came up short: The defender’s eyes tell you all need to know about the emotions with that play

Best Commercial during the 4th Quarter: Bud Light’s “Wego” dog
What does another Super bowl do for the Giants?: Still 3 Super Bowl appearances and 1 more title short of America’s Team

Now what do we do without football?: Yu know…pitchers and catchers report in less than 2 weeks


I hate kickers…

I’ll spend another entry to get into me, who I am, why I stated blogging, blah blah blah….

But I am legitimately mad, angry, pissed off that last night I had to spend 3+ hours of my life listening to Brent Musburger drool over the Honey Badger in the same fashion as he drooled over Colt McCoy when he was in college. That is not even the worst part about it. The next time a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP is so bad that the all-star offensive performer is a kicker, warn me so I can be sure to shove needles in my eyes while splashing Tabasco in them as well to make sure I can’t see what is happening. Look, I’m not taking anything away from the back-handed slap that Alabama repeatedly gave LSU all night because it was one for the all-time. However, I’m taking it back to kickers and why I am going to propose the idea that all kicking, all special team aspects of football as we know it, should be eliminated from the great game of football.

The old football adage is that special teams is 1/3 of the game, just like offense and defense make up 1/3 as well. BULL CRAP! We first take a look at the top: the Hall of Fame. There is just one pure place kicker and zero punters in the Hall of Fame. Kickers decide some of the biggest moments in football history and yet they are important enough to vote only 1 pure kicker into the Hall. Next, if special teams/kickers are so important, why are there so many college football programs who don’t have a good kicker? Alabama is a prime example. You have a kicker who can’t make a FG over 50 yards, which isn’t unreasonable to expect from a kicker, but did having a crappy kicker stop them from winning a national title? Exactly. The third reason kickers need to go is they have way too much influence on football games. Kickers stand around all week, kick FGs, sprinkle in a few actual kicks with a full team out there, no rush on the attempts and you have the traditional practice week of a kicker. For an aspect that is “1/3” of the game, in all reality only gets about 10% of practice time a week. Then come game time, they ultimately week in and week out decide the fate of the team.

These teams sure wish they had a little bit better performances this year out of their kickers:
Boise State
Oklahoma State
Alabama (Not in the end, but for a while had to sweat it out)
TCU (1st game of the year against Baylor)
Missouri (week 2 against a sorry Arizona st team)
Baylor (against K-state, lost by 1, kicker missed only FG attempt)

Those are just the schools I could think of off the top of my head. I’m sure every team in America had at least one game decided solely on a missed kicker this season. In college football, in which 1 extra win could change the school’s season and, more importantly, end of season pay out based on the bowl they go to, kickers are costing their respective universities (like Boise St for the past two years) MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. It’s a joke.

So what do we do about these kickers? There is nothing about a kicker that says “yeah he is a football player” no he is “just a kicker.” Get rid of them, all of them. But nobody likes “that guy” who just bitches without a way to make it better. Insert Clary’s solution to replacing kickers. Football gets rid of all special teams and now football has more of a pick-up game feel. Game starts with the coin flip and the receiving team takes the ball at their own 20. Now instead of punting on 4th down, teams go for it EVERY TIME. I know somewhere Mike Leech is smiling at that idea. If the defense stops them, they take over just like a basic stop on 4th down. When a score happens, teams go for 2 EVERY TIME (And also, NFL, allow teams to run back the PAT for 2 points like in college so the PAT could have some meaning again for the defense). Now coaches can put even more time to the actual aspects that make the game of football what it really is; offenses and defenses are better, and games like the trash last night can be better avoided. Do it from the youngest level of football all the way to the NFL. I have yet to meet anyone who gets fired up about a football game because the kickers in the game have such great leg strength. I mean seriously, the only difference between John Daly and Sebastian Janikowski is one strike a football and the other strikes a golf ball. Let’s make football more exciting and, in my opinion, a “purer” version of football because now the game is decided by actual football players. Not, like Peyton Manning would say, “idiot, liquored up kicker[s]”

Oh ya, college football, there aren’t enough characters on the internet for me to start on how terrible the BCS is and why there needs to be a playoff.

Now come back y’all for more entertaining takes of sports, food, current affairs, men, women, family, friends, skinny jeans, beer, drinking games, TV, naps, festering, nick names, stupid people, guest appearances from friends of mine, lazy people, a good burp and fart, a little about who I am, why it’s a “coke” not a pop, why Gatorade is better than Powerade, why Snickers is the greatest candy bar ever, words with friends and really anything that grabs my attention because the great thing about blogging is nothing is off-limits. Till next time…

Clary needs to enjoy more of the full reclining couch he is currently sitting on.